The Naked Truth: Bank Robbery Doesn’t Pay

HandcuffsSo, if you want to rob a bank in the worst way, how do you go about doing it?

Take a lesson from a Fort Lauderdale man who entered an east coast Florida bank pretending to have a gun.

A terrified teller handed over $4,700. And a little bonus, too—a dye pack.

The 25-year-old Florida man then ran out of the bank where the dye pack exploded, staining his clothes and a cast he was wearing on his left wrist.

So what’s a bank robber to do all covered in red dye looking a mess?

This guy stripped off his clothes and began running down the street naked tossing the bills to startled passersby.

His crime, uh, streak didn’t get very far before the cops arrived.

Police reports indicate that the young man thought that this stunt would somehow jump-start a career for himself as a comedian. The joke was on him.

FBI agents, unamused, charged him with bank robbery.

And it once again raises the question as to why people still rob banks. Not that it is the place of this column to give advice to aspiring criminals, but, dude, it is – and let’s use all capital letters here for emphasis – A FEDERAL OFFENSE.

Then again, our federal prisons are not overrun with Rhode Scholars.

STRANGE FACT: While bank robberies net thieves more than knocking off other commercial establishments, most robbers are eventually caught. And it can be dangerous. In one year, of the 16 people killed during bank robberies, according to the FBI, 13 were the robbers.

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