Dateline Florida: Masking the Gunshine State’s Problems

mask

By J.C. Bruce I have been assigned by Tropic Press to write this new periodic dispatch from the Gunshine State, an effort to provide a fair and balanced perspective on news emanating from this subtropical paradise that may seem confusing, confounding, and, perhaps, utterly crazy to outsiders. We’ll begin this unbiased and totally objective report with a look at how […]

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The Grim Reaper Awaits You on Your Next Beach Excursion

Grim Reaper

The number of coronavirus cases and fatalities in Florida is at its peak, so what better time to drop restrictions on social distancing and open the beaches back up? What? You don’t see the logic in that? You think we should wait until the number of active cases declines so fewer people are exposed to the deadly communicable disease? Ha! […]

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Florida’s Haunted Interstate 4 Claims Even More Victims

Sinkhole

A stretch of Interstate 4, known as the Dead Zone, has been eating cars. In its entirety, I-4 connects Tampa with Daytona Beach, cutting through central Florida and, importantly, is the most heavily trafficked route used by millions of tourists flocking to Disney World each year. So, just by virtue of the volume of vehicles traversing the highway every day, […]

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A Little Nookie With Blue Lights Flashing

So where’s the most unusual place you’ve ever had sexual relations? In the back seat? Betcha not a back seat like this. It began when a Fernandina Beach, Florida couple were pulled over by a cop for–are you ready?–bicycling while drunk. And how would a cop know whether a couple of people pedaling around the beach town were snockered? His […]

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That Was The Weird Year That Was

Gator Man

A big shout-out to the Associated Press and other Florida newspapers for this summary of weird news from 2019. Keep being weird, Florida. In 2019, Florida Banana managed to eclipse Florida Man. From alligator antics to naked people doing wacky things, Florida did not disappoint in the weird news department. In December, a Miami couple spent more than $100,000 on […]

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