Imagining a Phone Call to the NFL Inspired by Trump

Dolphins and Bills

Donald Trump attempted to overturn the presidential election with a call to Georgia state officials urging them to “find” the votes he needed to win. They declined. Could we even imagine this sort of thing happening anywhere but the insane world of politics? Consider this…

The football world was stunned Sunday when NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell revealed he had been urged to overturn the results of the Dolphins-Bills game

Buffalo defeated Miami 56-26, dashing to Dolphins hopes of making the playoffs.

In a secretly recorded call, a man who identified himself as Dolphins head coach Brian Flores can be heard trying to persuade the commissioner, “I just want to find 31 points.”

“The people of Miami are angry, the people of the country are angry,” the caller said. “And there’s nothing wrong with saying, you know, that you’ve recalculated.”

To which Goodell can be heard replying, “Well, the challenge you have is, the data you have is wrong.”

“Look,” the caller continued. “All I want to do is this. I just want to find 31 points, which is one more than we need, because we actually won.”

He went on to further claim, without evidence, that “there’s no way we lost. There’s no way. We won by hundreds of thousands of points.”

To which Goddell replied:

“Who do you think you are, Donald Trump?”

When contacted, Flores denied he was the caller. “Probably some copycat. I get that all the time. Usually it’s guys trying to get into Joe’s Stone Crab by using my name.”

So, you do concede the loss, then? Flores was asked.

 “You win some, you lose some. Only a weenie can’t admit defeat.”

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