Honorary Florida Man Award Goes to…

Bigfoot

A 53-year-old Oklahoma man was arrested after police said he killed his friend for summoning Bigfoot to murder him.

Larry Doll Sanders was fishing with Jimmy Knighten, also 53, when he realized Knighten “intended to feed him to Sasquatch/Bigfoot,” according to police reports.

The incident took place on the Canadian River about 85 miles southeast of Oklahoma City. Police said the men were “noodling” — that is, catching catfish bare-handed — and that SandersĀ “appeared to be under the influence of something.”

For the record, Bigfoot has never been known to harm anyone. The Skunk Ape, on the other hand, is suspect in dozens of cases of people disappearing in the Everglades.