Nessie's Grandmother?

Further Evidence the Loch Ness Monster Could Still Be Lurking

By J.C. Bruce

We now have additional evidence that the Loch Ness Monster may be real.

Not eyewitness evidence, mind you, in the sense that somebody actually saw Nessie. Let’s instead call it circumstantial evidence, maybe not admissible in court, certainly not beyond a reasonable doubt, but absolutely justifying further inquiry.

We take you now to a nature reserve north of London, an arrow-shot from Nottingham in nearby Rutland County.

While doing routine maintenance at the reservoir there, the skeleton of an enormous “sea dragon” was recently unearthed.

The beast’s remains are remarkably preserved and measure 32 feet in length. This swimming reptile’s six-foot head, alone, weighs in at one ton. Its total length is about three times larger than the average North American male alligator, which you definitely do not want to encounter on a dark night in the Everglades. Daylight, either, for that matter.

Scientifically, it is known as an ichthyosaur, although everyone calls them sea dragons. They were formidable predators who lived 160 million years ago before an earlier version of the Don’t Look Up asteroid hit, rendering T-Rexes, Velociraptors, and the rest of the Jurassic Park party animals extinct.Dean Lomax, the scientist in charge of the excavation, said, “During this time period, it would have been right at the top of the food chain. It’s an ultimate apex predator, perhaps one of the biggest animals in the sea worldwide.”

Of the find, he added: “It’s the most complete and larger than any dinosaur skeleton ever found here, so it’s a mega-find for so many reasons.”

One of those reasons, as far as I am concerned, is that this further substantiates the possibility of the Loch Ness Monster.

The 22-mile long lake known as Loch Ness is not in Merry Olde England, but further north in Scotland, way up in the Highlands, about 140 miles north of where the heroic forces of King Robert the Bruce defeated England’s King Edward II in the year 1314, thus setting the stage for Scotland’s liberation.

And while that history is not in dispute, there are those who still doubt the existence of a terrifying water monster in the loch, but is the idea really so outrageous?

Who’s to say that a sea dragon might not have escaped the worst of the asteroid strike and continue making little sea dragons who, quite understandably, don’t want to poke their heads above water. I mean, last time one of their kind looked up, the earth was on fire.

This notion certainly is not as offensive as other theories circulating in our “choose your own reality” culture.

After all, if people believe Hillary Clinton is running a child sex ring in the basement of a basement-less pizza parlor, or if voters elect a loon who thinks Jewish financiers are setting forest fires with space lasers, or an American president can suggest shoving ultraviolet tubes up our nether regions to cure COVID, is believing in dragons really that much further around the bend?

Honestly, I’d rather have a world with dragons than all those people. Wouldn’t you?

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